They are "Smashing Pumpkins"???

BAM! Here.

So I was listening to Mum and Dad talking today. Apparently I am going to see Smashing Pumpkins on Saturday. Huh? What is that? So I looked up "Pumpkins" in the Wombinary, and it is some kind of squash fruit which is orange when ripe. And they want to smash it??? What goes on out there?

Anyway, I spent a little more time listening and I also saw "Alice Cooper". I wonder who she is! So they seem to be talking about me in a nice way, which is nice and also makes me glad I didnt call one of them Gorgalov!

So anyway, it turns out it is the weird melodic sounds I hear a lot of when Mum and Dad are in the moving thing that makes me bounce about. They call it a "Car". One day, I will have my own "Seat" in it. They sure have some stupid words out there!

I am a bit nervous about this. I dont remember seeing that "Alice" woman, so I am not sure I will know what sounds a pumpkin being smashed makes. And why do they call that "music"? The world out there sounds like an intersting place.

Anyway, I haven't kicked Mum for about an hour, so I am going to do that.

OK. Names created for those things outside.

Bam! Bino! here.

So I spent a little time today thinking up names for the voices I hear outside and the thing I am in. I just feel it will be easier for you when you read this later.

The names I came up with are:

For the thing I am in, I had decided between Gorgalov, Schloopy and Mum. The last one is an anagram of Must Understand More.

For the deeper voice I hear, I have decided between Great guy, Awesome Dude and Dad. Again, the last is an anagram of Didn't Actually Decide.

So I decided on Mum and Dad as the names.

Anyway, I hope that helps when I say stuff about them later!

Bino Bambing Out!

Poke me like that again and I will kick you.

Poke "It is here now!". Poke "And now it is here!". Poke "And now here!"

STOP IT! I was fast asleep dreaming about my thumb and how cool it is and then the thing I am in starts poking at me. Why? What did I do? So I had a good kick back. "That'll teach em!" I thought, but no. It was actually HAPPY that I did it!

So I heard some different noises today. I heard sentences like "GO ON!" shouted loudly and "Jeeeeeeezus. What are they doing?". Then there was something about "They played this rubbish in the second half of the game last week".

It turns out that the other voice was talking about "Rugby" and "England". Whatever that is. Sounds fun though. Although I did hear something about "England" and "English" before. From the recordings I have made on my Voice Wombcorder of the previous conversations, I worked out that the thing I am in is "South African" and Female and the other voice I hear a lot is "English" and Male. And they said that "it" and then poked me, will be part English and part South African.

Ummm...heellooooooo. I am neither. I am Bambino. I come from Testoland, which is one of 2 oval planets where the rest of my family were before we all became seperated.

Oh, and I know what I am. But I am thinking of not telling them for a while. They need the suspense.

Well, Bambino checking out. And remember...the Voice Wombcorder is listening to everything you say!

Hiccups? Pah-leeeease....

Hey all. Bambino here.

I had a fairly quiet week all in all until yesterday. I was listening in to the conversations of the thing I am in. They were talking about "shopping for *it*". I have no idea what *it* is, unless...do they mean me? Well OK, I haven't told them yet what I am, but calling me an IT is a touch rude. Of course, I looked in the wombinary for the word "shopping" and found it is about exchanging things for things. I do that now! I exchange the food that the pipe gives me for something I don't really want. It is a pretty sweet deal for me. Although I do find some things it feeds me aren't that great. But that's OK, as I have found a way that if I concentrate hard enough, the thing I am in feels ill!

Anyway, while listening to "Them" out there, I had this weird reflex. I double somersaulted over to the wombinary on the other side of the womb and had a look in there. After much searching, it seems I have "hiccups". What a stupid name! There are times I really miss my family of little swimmers, but I don't think they would appreciate that I am so much bigger now and look nothing like them. And I don't want to have to tell them I have "hiccups". How embarrasing would that be! I suppose I could send a postcard? I dont know why, but I feel like sometimes Dad is really close!

I have also been exploring more the possibility of getting out of here. The wombinary speaks of something called gravity. Gravity? It sounds like something I would put on my lunch if I didnt have it straight through this pipe in my stomach! But anyway, this gravity thing means that things push downwards. So all I have to do now is work out which way is down! I am feeling bigger and stronger anyway, so I reckon that if I carry on at the rate I am growing now, in about 5 or 6 months time I will be almost ready to have the strength to push my way out!

Anyway, I have been listening in on the conversations that "They" have been having and I am getting a touch suspicious that a lot of the noises I hear are about me. I will let you all know more in my next post after I have a little more infromation.

Bambino hiccuping out!